In Pursuit of “You”


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It is said that as you hit middle age, you start to come to terms with yourself. Well, in some cases, I believe you struggle to do that. However, I have seen that most people start looking back and introspect to find themselves, their purpose, start to analyze if they are on the path to what they have always wanted to do. If not, they make plans to adopt the path they are on. Overall, everyone looks to make peace with his or her existence.

There are a lucky few, who get to do this much earlier in life. They are blessed. Blessed, because, this sets them on the path early on where they set out to do what they really wanted to. For most, the realization itself takes time.

The first ten years of life pass in playful abandon, blissfully ignorant of a higher purpose in life. The second decade brings along with it, the pressure of growing up. We set out on a path that we have grown to recognize during the first decade of our life; a path traversed by our parents, relations and other elders we see growing up. We are unsure; if this is our calling, yet trudge along on what is in front of us. The third decade brings with it the responsibilities of life: work, relationships, marriage, kids and all that raising a family entails. There is hardly time for anything else. Toward the fag end of this part comes the retrospection and introspection I talked about initially.

Better late than never, you correct course and proceed.

Life is actually very simple, yet we make it so complex for ourselves as we pass through it. Part of it is due to the continuous influx of all that life has to offer and the rapid pace at which we pass through it, that we never get a chance to catch a breath and look at it from an external vantage point. And, part of it is due to the fact that we have never known it any other way. Of course, there are those lucky few who catch a break early on and are thrown on the right track to begin with.

Life’s simplicity lies in not taking it seriously and just knowing that, you need to take it one step at a time, living in the present. Its like when you learn to walk, take one step at a time. Put your first foot forward firmly, and then lift your second foot to put it in front of your first. Once you do that, repeat the process.

At whatever juncture of your life you are at now, just remember this and follow through. You will be happy and fulfilled. Do not overthink or over do, just focus on what is in front of you and do it with utmost sincerity. Although the future may seem uncertain, as long as you are in control of your steps, the path you seek will reveal itself, guaranteed.

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Did you really say that? Hmm…that’s not what I heard!


Have you ever noticed that children demand 100% attention when they are communicating with you? Why children, try being a little inattentive with your spouse when in a conversation and see what happens!

Have you ever felt that you asked for one thing and received something different? What went wrong?  You thought you were clear in explaining what you wanted but how did it not get across to the other person? Did they not hear right or comprehend correctly? Or perhaps, were you not clear with communicating your expectations while you thought you were?

Communication & Comprehension are the crucial factors of discussion here. Mastering these ensures your professional & personal success. We live in a world of conflicting egos and hence, this becomes all the more important.

We, humans are a social animal and hence, social interaction is inevitable. Whether it’s in your personal, professional or social life, interaction is an integral part of relating with one another.

Communication is key, yet so little is done by us at improving our communication abilities and approaches. Communication is not just about knowing a language or understanding its application or mastering technical lingo before you start using it. Mastering a language in terms of how to write, read and speak doesn’t mean you have mastered the art of communication. Communication in itself has several subtleties that are to be recognized, practiced and honed upon in order to have total control on the interaction dynamics.

The real life application of communication is unique. In order to succeed at any relationship, you need to ensure you understand the other party a complete 100% and at the same time you ensure they understand you a 100% as well. Every little struggle, strife, altercation & collective frustration leading to something worse, is all a result of that 100% not being met.

Communication is a two-way street. Most of us let our ego drive us and make the mistake of trying to expend energy to get our point across. It’s not about you always talking. Have you tried to actually curb your urge to speak, control your emotions and listen to the other party? Even in a situation where you feel absolutely sure that you are right, it’s important to give space and the due respect to the other party in terms of lending them an ear. Mostly, in such a situation, just listening patiently & attentively might take the frustration and animosity out of the mix and you end up having a real conversation. Respect the other party. Listen, and then talk. Never let emotions get the better of you while you are communicating. Always ensure you validate what you have heard, especially when a reaction or deliverable is expected of you. When there are expectations of you, ensure you ask for instructions in written for validation of the communiqué.

Talking about emotions, communication is not just talking and listening. Body language & voice modulation, your tone & gestures; all are an integral part of a good communication mix. Although, you should never let emotions get the better of you while communicating, you need to relate the emotion through these intrinsic aspects of communication. They can be much more powerful than the literal aspects of the act of communication.

It is so important that you come across completely when you communicate, whether through the word of mouth or the word of your pen/keystrokes. Communication is all about clarity. A little distortion in understanding can mean a sea change in the after effects or actions as a result of that communication.

Whether you are communicating to your spouse, kids, family, clients, customers, peers, bosses, prospects or strangers; always ensure clarity of thought in your speech or written word. Relate the respect you impart by listening attentively and reacting carefully. Say what you mean and mean what you say and never leave anything unsaid unless you want your audience to read between the lines!