How conditioned is love?


Love exists between family members, between spouses, siblings, parents and children, friends and relatives. Every relation is bound together by the thread of love and care. But, how many relations are there where this love is unconditional? 

Every relationship has some expectations tied to it, one of the first being reciprocity. I love you and you love me. That’s only the first. Based on the relationship, there are other expectations as well; be it, need for care, financial security, fulfillment of various needs etc. 

But what relationship comes with no expectations at all, none, zilch! No matter what, this love manages to survive and grow. Can you think of any? I think it’s the love of a parent for a child. I don’t think there is any other relationship that does not come with some expectations.

There is pure and unconditional love from a parent to its child. Mind you, this is when the child is just that, a child. The child may behave, fuss or totally be rebellious, the parent still loves the child the same. Expectations may creep in and condition this love as the child grows up. Perhaps not true in all cases and to varying degrees. There are exceptions to every case. There are parents out there who love their children minus expectations through out their lives while some may have expectations they want their children to live up to.

I am not saying that unconditional love is all good. It’s important for expectations to be there for each one of us to live upto and work for, in order to have balanced lives. We live in a competitive world and in order to prepare each other and ourselves to live in such a world, it’s important to set expectations and work towards them. Else, this unconditional love may actually be a deterrent and a bane to the ones it’s showered upon. But, irrespective of expectations and the levels of success, love persists and must grow to keep each bond nourished and healthy.

Love should not dictate the need to provide comfort at all times for the ones we love. Sometimes, in order to provide long term resilience, it may be important to push those we love into uncomfortable zones. Doesn’t mean that love is lost, just goes to prove the depth of love and care and long term success for those involved.

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