Going on and on – The “not so” secret of success


A prospective partner that I had been pursing said to me, the other day, “You have the patience of a saint. I am sorry it is taking so long to finalize the deal.”

I had been pursuing this for a while and after maneuvering through several obstacles, we were getting closer to finalizing an agreement. I sat back to reflect, “But, this is what I do. I don’t give up. I just continue till I find closure.”

You have a vision, a game plan, goals and milestones tracked to realize your vision. At a point in time, what you can control is the action you take to get closer to realizing your vision. Act in anticipation of finding success. You may or may not find it instantly or as expected. There are bound to be hindrances, obstacles that need to be surmounted on your journey. Make plans early on for deviations, strategize, effect changes and continue to execute to get closer to your goal.

You have to be continuously on the move. You cannot afford to stop, stare and take no action. You have to act to see results. And, you have to act differently to expect different results from the one you have come across. Have a keen eye on your end goal; however focus on the action at hand. You get closer to your goal, one step at a time. The current action is what you can control. Do your best in what you do now, and then, contemplate on the next step before you take it.

Keep moving, keep going on. Your end goal, has no option but to succumb to your advances.

It is not about being the best, having the most or getting there before everyone else. It is about not giving up, trying again and again, having the patience to reach a goal, fulfill a vision and having the tenacity to see it through.

Being calm and composed, patient, never giving up and always being ready to act will ensure the success you desire.

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What are you afraid of?


One of the most popular and principal characters of the renowned Indian epic of “Ramayana” is the monkey god, Hanuman. The story goes that Hanuman was bestowed with remarkable powers by the gods, but he was also cursed to be unaware of them. He had to be reminded in the time of need to use them and conquer the seemingly impossible.

The reason I am reminded of that is when I look around, there is so much potential, yet blissfully unaware of what they could do or be.

We turn out to be what our circumstances make of us. Yet, there are those that have battled the odds and their lives have turned into inspiration for others. How so?

Some are driven by purpose, others by fear and yet others, something else. We all have a motivating factor in life, to do better, to excel. Some of us pursue and conquer, others embrace what they confront.

But, each of us has the potential to be much more than we credit ourselves with.

You do not have to pursue just one thing in order to lead a happy life. Focus on not one, two but more things. There are so many flavors life has to offer. Try them out. What you do for 8 hours a day to make a living is fine, if that’s your passion too, better. Pursue other things; you like to sing, sing, you like to write, write. Spend time with your family and friends.

Its human nature to avoid things that you are not sure of, that you are afraid of. Conquer the anxiety and just venture out to do it. Rest assured, you will come out just fine.

How are you ever going to know what you are capable of? If your heart is prodding you to go ahead and do something, do not analyze using your head all the time. Listen to your heart and just do it so you do not regret a missed opportunity at a later time.

I agree that we live in a complex world where sometimes, you have to make situational compromises. But if that dictates what you seek and aspire to do, you will never be done. Take a leap of faith and just go for it. I assure you, life has a way of making sure that things work out. When you look back, you will be glad you did what you had to.

Never question what you are capable of. Why don’t you discover for yourself. You will be amazed at what you find.

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The Paradox of Expectations


“Work hard, you’ll succeed and be prosperous.” What if you do not?

“Study well, get straight A’s; you will land a great job and have a successful career.” What if you do not?

“Follow your passion and you will find success.” What if you do not?

These are ingrained expectations and notions that we grew up with and we continue to pass it along to our children. How sure are we of these? Did your life turn out the way you expected? Did these assumptions work to your expectations? Did you not hit a wall, feel around and find your own way? If not, you are a rare anomaly and I would like to hear your story.

The truth of the matter is that everyone seeks security, shuns insecurity. We all need a great paying job, a nice house to live in, a well fed family, kids in good schools preparing to live the secure life similar to what we wanted, if possible, better.

There are expectations and guarantees needed. If I do this, I need to be assured that. Not just assured, I deserve that! Anything that takes this plan off course causes pain, frustration and doubts. Where does the issue lie?

It lies in setting expectations and seeking guarantees. Is having an expectation wrong? Not at all. Aspirations are good for progress. Have them; imbibe them in your kids. But, leave the path to be traversed open to freedom. Show the path, don’t give guarantees. Show examples of doing what begets what but don’t make promises that you do not have control over.

Freedom to think, act and achieve should be left to the aspirant, the doer. Freedom is costly, comes with the promise of facing fear, risk and failure. But, it also provides the excitement of doing something phenomenal and reaching goals that are new, exciting and further lay the road for the next adventure. The excitement of the unknown, the tension of seeking it out is what living fully is all about.

Do not embrace of preach complacency, don’t draw boundaries with expectations based on performance. With expectations, come disappointments upon not meeting them and as a result, de-motivation. As a result, with the lack of further pursuit, you only fail once.

Leave it as open as the wild, wild, west with no promises of what’s out there. Just know that you’ll have the adventure of a lifetime and you might walk away with the treasure. Well, if it doesn’t happen the first time, you now have lessons learned to keep going forward and those lessons applied, pave a different path taking you on a new adventure, with newer rewards in sight. With a failure behind, there is nowhere to go but forward, for success beyond, eventually to seek out that success.

Seek freedom, pursue freedom, attain freedom for what its worth.

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Can you Think Yourself into Your Desired Level of Success?


During the days when I taught management courses, many a student has asked me, “How do I become as successful in life as I possibly can?” In some cases, the question was, “How do I become as successful as I want to?” The de facto answer was, “Work hard.” And there were several others such as establish goals, pursue them diligently, dream big, focus, plan your work, work your plan, etc.”

Now, in hindsight, I would have given a more introspective answer for them to reflect upon. Not that all said above is untrue; it surely is a requirement for success. But, there are several intrinsic behaviors and patterns that determine the level of success you achieve in life.

It’s often said that in order to be successful at what you do, know your strengths and weaknesses and surround yourself with people who are strong in your weak areas. As a result, you develop a circle of strength from which to operate and find positive results in your endeavors.

However, how do you determine your level of success? I mean, how do you ensure you make a positive impact in the lives of thousands of people versus a few hundred or even tens? How do you build a business that is multi-national than locally or regionally focused? How do you build a billion dollar corporation than one that plays in the hundreds of thousands? How do you land the job you desire in the field of your choice in the organization you aspire to work for? How do you grow your career prospects as you gather experience? How do you move into your desired lifestyle? The answer to this lies in the daily life you cultivate and nurture. In other words, your daily interactions, the people you interact with, the books you read, the inspiration and thoughts you cultivate and the rapport you share with those that have done it before.


Dreaming big and executing on a roadmap to realize your dream is just not enough. You need to build and interact with the right network, develop a nourishing atmosphere so that you can constantly draw inspiration; all your interactions, thoughts and actions need to be a sum total of this. Draw inspiration to chart your own path, the way you see it. Talk, read, and contemplate on what you aspire to do every second, every minute of your existence. Build on the intensity so that your thoughts are shaped by it which shows in your decisions, your actions and finally in your results.

It’s also often said, “When in Rome, act like the Romans.” Well, this is not about acting like Romans, but about getting to be the King of Rome. Not when in Rome, but on the way to Rome, so you arrive King!

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The Promise Of Hope!


An entrepreneurial journey.

A creative endeavor.

Graduating from school.

Starting a family.

Raising kids.

Planning your future.

The promise of hope is what keeps the world going! Hope is the magical elixir that keeps the rainbow-hued horizon always bright, no matter the present or past; and rightfully so. The promise of your future should be pursued using lessons from the past and applying them in your present. And, at all times, the promise of the future is always bright!

How else would you find yourself getting up each time you fall, just to work as hard, if not harder in pursuit of your goals, unmindful of all that you have been through so far.

Sometimes, the hue of hope tends to show the future in a skewed rosy tint. Beware! It’s alright to be hopeful but not by being blindsided to the facts of the present. Hope keeps the pursuit of a better tomorrow alive but in order to make that possible, plan your present well and follow the plan, analyze each step you take, make adjustments and corrections to sustain your immediate goals and collectively, these small successes will propel you toward your ultimate goal. The best part is that all this can begin anytime you are ready and there is no better time than now!

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Is there a short cut to Self-Actualization?


Maslow must have studied human behavior really well to have propounded the theory of hierarchy of needs. To refresh you with the theory that came about in the 1940s, human behavior is motivated to fulfill needs in the order of Physiological, Safety, Belongingness and Love, Esteem and Self-Actualization.

It is the logical order that keeps the wheels of human interactions going. If you are struggling to fend for yourself, you are always worried about where the next meal shall come from. Once your hunger is satisfied and you have taken care of it, not just for today but also for the near future, you look to the next need of shelter and companionship. Next, you want to defend what you have built for yourself. Living a relatively secure life, you crave for recognition and a status in society. Most of that is achieved with your professional position, extended further into societal placement. All along, it is primarily about elevating yourself in your own eyes. Finally, when you have it all; then, the need to fulfill your intrinsic needs comes into play. This is where your creativity, your interest in self-expression through your passion to the best of your abilities peaks. The goal at this point is personal satisfaction and happiness, oblivious of all that it could entail in terms of name, fame and money. Sometimes, this is also called the point of spiritual realization.

Now, coming back to my question, is there a short cut to self-actualization?

Maslow believed that in order to fulfill the need for self-actualization, all other needs would have to be not only satisfied, but also mastered. On this particular note, I differ. I believe there is a short cut to self-actualization. There are several amongst us that pursue a passion as a profession for the love of it. This allows for their creativity to peak since they enjoy what they do. Happiness and bliss become perennial. Self Esteem is also at its peak or they are oblivious to it. Name, fame & money follow when you excel at what you do. It’s often said that in order to be successful, pursue your passion, not money or other emoluments for when you obsess over them, success eludes you. Every one out to achieve success, dismisses the struggle they go through. They recognize the sacrifices made but do not pay much attention to it, when in pursuit of what they enjoy. Ultimately success happens. In more cases than not, they are oblivious to even success. They practice a passion for the love of it and success, which in worldly terms means the fulfillment of all the other needs follows through. Even if it doesn’t follow through to the extent where you can say that they have mastered the other needs, they really don’t care for they are absorbed in practicing their passion and that itself is success for them. That is self-actualization and it can be independent of the other needs.

As someone said, it’s not the destination but the journey that needs to be experienced and enjoyed. What more can be a better outcome than this?

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Home is Where the Heart is!


When I am on Yahoo!, I tend to browse through the hundred odd newsreel items on the homepage. Generally, it’s one or two of them that catch my eye to read further. Today, I happened to click on an interview by Zoe Saldana, the actress.

As I read through it, one of her comments stuck with me. She said, “You just gravitate naturally to what your heart yearns for.”

That is so profound.

As a child, you are like a sponge; ready to absorb and learn everything you come across. You start to form opinions, likes and dislikes. Somewhere along as you get introduced to the world around you, you fantasize about everything you aspire to be when you grow up. Through the years, you develop stronger preferences and are left with a few choices that you want to be when you grow up. Later, as a confused teenager, you look around at what’s in demand and what professions are doing well and that dictates your aspirations. By the time, you gain clarity, you are down the path of what you will eventually graduate in and take on a profession. If that clarity comes to you sooner in life, you are one of the lucky few doing something you really enjoy. If it comes later, you would have bumped around doing a few things that you got into for one reason or the other before you realize where your passion lies. In some instances, you have to continue with what you got yourself into although your heart might be somewhere else.

And that is where what Zoe said, so aptly applies. No matter what you do or where you are in life and how impossible it may seem, you WILL gravitate toward your heart’s natural desire. You will find a way to do what you enjoy most. And when you work in the realm of what you love, it is no longer work. You lose the sense of time and effort and produce your very best, naturally and easily. So, no matter how insurmountable your life’s challenges may seem, keep dreaming, my friend and keep trying. Do not give up or give in! You heart will draw you toward your passion and you will be one with it. This is not my promise, but that of your own heart!

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Befriend Uncertainty for it’s certain!


Uncertainty is your friend, a friend you fear. Moreover, you might not see it as a friend at all.

Uncertainty is such unpredictable territory. What will happen next? What will tomorrow shape up to be? What does the future hold? The anxiety these questions set off and sustain in the background is what most people experience. Once in a while, this anxiety flares up to disrupt life, as you know it. Eventually, you learn to tame it, to be just that little flame flickering away in the background while you anxiously act to keep it from flaring up again.

That’s how many have come to accept and treat uncertainty. As a result, we are cautious with what we do and live in the light cast by our yesterday. Generally, many are risk averse, play out their fears and live within the confines of their comfort zone. As a result, there is not much to expect in terms of change since comfort breeds stagnancy. Over time, it dawns that there is not much excitement and zest for life when it’s the same old life day in and day out.

Uncertainty has turned into something we are fearful of, avoid in all circumstances and cannot image to even skirt with it.

A cautious approach is good but to the extent you can see it. Being prepared is a virtue, but you can only be so much prepared.

Hence, learn to embrace uncertainty. Probably, cautiously at first! But, do give it a try. I assure you, you will be addicted to the fun and excitement that you experience along the journey. It’s exciting to not know what’s around the corner while you toil away at what’s in your control. You follow through logical steps to complete tasks, execute plans and then, do enough to assure yourself of the outcome you desire. Sometimes, you confront unseen roadblocks that you have to work around; at other times you come across unsurpassed surprises that galvanize the outcome way beyond your expectations. And, at other times, you simply get just what you expected. However, you feel more in control, as you no longer fear the outcome.  You feel more confident and self assured, since you put your best leg forward. The rest just follows through as an outcome of your actions. Life will feel richer and well lived when you look back; no regrets or should haves, could haves staring back at you. What you do will be worth the effort. Among other things, you will discover a nugget or two of your own innovative and creative capabilities.

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#IfIWere22 – Wouldn’t Change a Thing


One thing I have noticed is that as you grow up, I mean as you age, life seems to pass by faster. I am not sure if that is, because of the number of pursuits you setup for your self and are so engaged in them that life just seems to fly by. It definitely was much slower when I was younger, perhaps because things were new to me to learn, experiment and enjoy my leisure. I also do not know how it will be when I get to my 60s. But, that’s for another day to talk about.

My 20s were a great time in life. When I was 22, I was in grad school working on getting my dual masters. Life was great as I was working and playing hard. I was like a sponge just soaking in whatever I came across, studying at a coveted university while living in a new city. It was time for exploration, in life, at school and trying to strike it out on your own.

It was in my 2nd year at grad school, when working on getting my MBA that I chose to go down the less trodden path. While my friends pursued studies diligently, I decided to explore new avenues at the same time while studying. I took up a direct sales job at an MNC that had just established in India and was expanding across the country introducing direct sales of consumer durables. The commission was handsome and I would be able to earn enough to be self-sufficient. But, I didn’t join for the money. I joined for the promise of a brighter future. It was a pyramid concept where you built a team, trained them and consistently generated enough sales for a certain period before you struck it out on your own. Then, you proliferated your network and made residual income on other locations you opened up. I must tell you, it was enticing enough to make me work full time when I had started, assuming it would be a good part time gig. I was always a good student and hence, my studies didn’t suffer.

I remember the very first day I went out by myself to make some sales. I picked up a heavy bag and went door to door for about 4 hours until noon. I must have knocked about 100 doors, not a single sale! I had experienced people who closed the door on your face, frustrated people who shooed you away and not so pleasant smirks from un-obliging customers. That was it! I was broken and returned to the office dragging my bag behind.

My trainer, whom I had shadowed the last three days came over and listened patiently to me, venting. I was angry, unhappy and just didn’t want to do this anymore. I thought I deserved better. My trainer explained the law of averages to me and said that in order to get 30 yes’s, you need to learn to go through 300 knocks and 270 no’s. He taught me how to take in each “No”, and make your pitch a little better with it, your demeanor a bit more pleasant and your resolve, stronger. After that he gave me two choices. He said that I could either walk away from all this and he would consider me history or I could go out there and work it one more time and put into action what he said. At the most, I would be a tired guy by the end of the day but the law of averages had to work.

I mulled over this for several moments, had a glass of water and stepped out to try, one last time. I went back to the area I was working. I was curious to try the law of averages and worked through that neighborhood for the next 4 hours. I kept knocking doors, became thick-skinned to all the negatives and just kept going. By the end of that day, I had sold 10 pieces! That changed my entire outlook toward struggle and achievement!

I went on to build my team, open my own location, start my own direct marketing company and open up about 12 locations in a year!

I wouldn’t change a thing about when I was 22! And my advice to you, seek your own adventure and blaze your own path to triumph. One piece of advice, never ever give up. It may come to you late, but it will!


The power of “I”


“I will _________________.”

“I deserve _____________.”

“ I need _______________.”

“I want ________________.”

“I can _________________.”

“I am going to __________.”

“I demand _____________.”

“I” is a very powerful word. Yet, it is not encouraged & celebrated as much. Infact, it is a word that has been associated with a certain negative connotation. In environments that we congregate in, at school or at work, it is teams that are encouraged and one being a contributing member is looked upon in order for the team and everyone associated with it to succeed.

I have seen and heard so much about being humble, not tooting your own horn and no matter how successful you are, never let it get to your head. Not all, but some of it is great advise. But when it comes to the use of “I”, the general treatment of what it represents has been misunderstood. It doesn’t necessarily stand for ego, pride and glaring self-centeredness in all cases. “I” has the power to elevate you to your super self. It represents and promotes self confidence in who you are, what you do, reflects your aspirations and helps reaffirm that assuredness, showing you are thinking and doing what you deem right.

Here’s a small exercise I would like to propose that you try out to test the immense power of “I”. Every morning, before you begin your day, stand straight with your head held high in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eye & say the following out loud so you can hear your own voice clearly.

“I will have a great day today.”

“I will be successful today.”

“I deserve __________.”

“I will ______________.”

For the last two sentences, you can fill in what you aspire for. Do this for a week and see the change in your attitude, your confidence, your interactions with others and the results thereby. What the repetition ensures is your belief in your own aspirations which leads down  the path of you making them happen.

You will also see a positive change in how you deal with your day to day activities. You will be more vocal of your needs, aspirations, thoughts and opinions. Your realization of what matters to you is infectious and ensures that those around you believe as well. As a result, you get more out of your life.

Go out there, be confident and fear not to use the word “I”. After all, you deserve every bit of success and fulfillment that you aspire for.